Dear Anne Rice,

I've never had anything but the most grudging respect for you, so I hope you'll forgive this out-of-the-blue missive.

As you know, I find Lestat to be the most appallingly dull character ever to have several books devoted to him. However, I find it even more appalling to see him onscreen under the pseudonym "Spike" - or, more accurately, "William."

I recommend suing David Fury, Drew Goddard, and Joss Whedon.

yours,
Bettie