Dear "Centennial" Card,

Thank you for your generous offer to help me rebuild my credit. However, you might want to rethink the unsolicited email route you've chosen to acquire my business through. I inadvertantly deleted your email, and had to dig through my Yahoo "trash can" to find said generous offer. Before giving you my business (and, I assume, my money), I have a few questions:

Re: your use of the word "Centennial" in your business name: Are you referring to our nation's centennial? If so, does this mean that your card has been around since 1976? That's amazing! I didn't know there were credit cards back then. Of course, I am only 24, so that was "before my time."

Re: my credit: Is it actually possible to rebuild something that never really existed? I failed my very first credit check ever, and have had to pay cash or not purchase every expensive item I own (the computer that makes it possible for you to email me, for example). I have student loans and a bank account, but the former are outstanding and probably in default, and the latter overdrawn. I assure you that I only have them in the first place due to the government's desire to see all Americans in debt.

I have a job, but I am paid "under the table," which I am fairly certain is illegal. Will this affect my standing with your organization?

I think that about covers it! I look forward to your response, and a future business partnership.

love,
Bettie Black

p.s. "Bettie Black" is a pseudonym. That doesn't bother you, does it? I'm sure she has far better credit than I do.