I'm a freak! My eyelid is swollen to absurd proportions, as is a small portion of my earlobe, and I can find no explanation!

Also, I am stubbornly refusing to go to the ER, as I am in no pain whatsoever. Plus, I'm missing work in case it is something bad, because, you know, infant.

Will was right. I'm bored. Maybe I should go to the hospital.