Friday, November 15, 2002

I'm really confused. Hence, this entry will probably be fairly confusing. This is my weblog, though, so I don't care.

I will not name names or specifics. This is partly because I don't think that would be fair to the parties involved, partly because too many people already are involved who shouldn't be, and partly because there is a lot of misinformation going around, and I may be guilty of believing some of it. It is also because I can do whatever I want, and I don't want to name names. This is about my feelings and nothing else.

My inclination is to simply say, "Stop. Just stop." I'd like to leave it at that. But that is neither realistic nor a complete expression of what I want.

So, to expand a bit: Could everyone just step back for a minute? Think. No, really think. Are you hurting anyone? Are you doing so in a way that is unnecessary? Stop. No, don't do anything detrimental to your own happiness in order to avoid hurting other people. Just think. Use reason - reason! - to determine what secrets should be kept. Use common sense. And for god's sake, if you fucked up, apologize.

I've said before that I don't want to be put in the middle. This is still true. However, sometimes it is inevitable. If I am automatically in the middle (i.e. two of my friends decide not to be friends with each other) don't avoid me and keep me in the dark about it. I'm already in the middle, I should at least know what's going on. I'm not one to judge my friends, but it's awfully helpful to have a fucking clue what's going on so that I don't put my foot in my mouth. I'm not terribly flexible. [tongue]

Moreover, I'm sick of my feelings being spared. It just gives me a feeling of doom - one of these days, these people will treat me like shit and I will have had no warning. Except, you know, my paranoia/intuition. I'm not a mindreader, so I tend to assume paranoia until it's too late.

Everyone, stop being selfish. That's less of a non-sequitur than I'd like it to be.


Changing the subject: We got the extended DVD of The Fellowship of the Ring yesterday. Yay!!!