Transcribed from my notebook:

It's 7:00 in the morning. Sunday. I woke up just now and discovered that I was crying.

I don't usually cry myself awake.

Last night we went to Max's, which is our favorite bar. Alan had a new art show up, and we went to see it, and him, and have a drink or two.

As well as three or four giant squids (a specialty of Alan's), there was a new series of paintings: a robot and a monkey. Not since the Bluebird of Friendliness and Skelaton Lu has Alan painted something that moved me so. Hell, the Bluebird and Lu didn't affect me like this. One of the paintings is of a monkey, alone, sitting on a grassy hill looking away. At the top it says "Waiting." I became entirely smitten and stared across the room at the monkey until Kan, one of Will's co-workers, announced loudly that he was, "buying that one."

I was depressed an anti-social for the rest of the night, coming out of my protective shell only to pry Everwood spoilers out of Sean (who works for the show).

I should, I think, do one of two things. One, forget the painting (I can always ask Alan for a photograph of it), or two, come up with $200 and fight for that monkey. Alan and Will have a lot of history - Will should be able to steal my monkey from Kan, right?

But then I think that I'm a terrible person, and anyway Will wouldn't do it, and then thinking that makes me feel terrible, and it just keeps going like that.

But shouldn't I have the monkey that can make me cry?