With apologies to Katy and Simon...

I'm sorry, but am I the only person on earth who actually paid attention during Brotherhood of the Wolf? That was the worst movie ever. (I reserve the right to exaggerate slightly.) From start to finish, it was an exercise in stupid trick photography and a lesson in how not to tell a story. Yuck. Also, between it and The Musketeer, I have seen two too many movies with charming crossover fight choreography. Dear filmmakers, please use Chinese characters if you use Chinese martial arts in a period piece. And for the love of god, if there is mud everywhere, don't be so afraid to get your actors dirty. Thanks.

I'm being terribly unfocused in expressing my dislike for this movie. I'm sorry - it gets me really worked up that so many people liked it when it is such a piece of crap.

But I still love you guys anyway. Promise.