Fast food tastes better at 1:00 in the morning.

The all night drive-thru: not so good for the obesity problems; damn fine when your sweetie's had a few and wants a greasy burger.

The staff was slow-moving and unhappy. I don't blame them. I said "thank you" to every person I spoke with. Twice.

One stop for "burritos" for me. One stop for fries and "chicken" "nuggets." One stop for a burger. Yes, this is our regular routine, though we altered it as Burger King is not open all night (we substituted Carl's Jr).

The food doesn't even have that fast food smell.

The bags don't get greasy on the drive home.

The fries are vaguely warm.

The burger tastes like a heat lamp.

The burrito - actually, that tasted exactly like they always do. Three cheers for reconstituted beans and cheese made out of plastic!

Everything was wonderful. Better than when it's fresh.

The way I see it, eating food that was prepared six hours ago by someone who hates their job is better. It's like adopting a rescue dog instead of getting the purebred puppy: This food needs you to eat it. It tries extra hard to please.