Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Universe Askew

Things are going really well.

Baby cooking.

New car.

New computer.

Writing gigs at two major websites, plus other freelance stuff. (It would be nice if more of these things paid, but still - I am writing and someone is reading it.)

Madly in love with my husband.

We know some really amazing people who call us friends.

Did I mention the baby?

My hair and eyebrows are phenomenal.

(In no particular order.)

So why do I find myself crying and inconsolable about once every 48 hours?

There is some bad.

Our apartment sucks. If you've been here and like it, keep your mouth shut. You don't have to live here and I am really fucking sick of being made to feel guilty for hating it.

My husband is a top executive at a major motion picture production company, and he barely makes enough money for our expenses, which are not extravagent. We have way more credit card debt than is acceptable. I don't seem to be capable of bring in enough to make a difference.

Some bad shit has happened in the last several months, like, um, losing almost all of our local friends. (Don't ask me to elaborate. There's a reason I haven't written about it thusfar.)

The car is the wrong color and the computer might be a lemon.

But it doesn't outweigh the good, because the good is so good.

I know that it's hormonal. What I don't know is how to make myself feel OK.

Other than ice cream, which OHMYGOD REALLY WORKS. Naysayers, go away.

Also, copious amounts of Rescue Remedy and a massage this morning that we can't really afford but I don't care because I feel like jelly.

But man - I was not ready for this. Physical woes I was prepared for. So of course I have had pretty much none. But I am on an emotional rollercoaster and I think it goes upside-down and I don't do upside-down rollercoasters.