Friday, October 17, 2003

But I don't feel like going to the store!

But I need milk! And a carrot! (No, really.) But on the other hand, I need to do some real grocery shopping (not that I plan to buy fake milk and a fake carrot, but hopefully you know what I mean), and I'll probably do that tomorrow, so why can't I just stay in my chair, wearing my dirty clothes that I've been wearing since yesterday and were probably already dirty when I put them on then, and stare at my computer some more, wishing that I hadn't read all of Margaret Cho's blog in one go, and just not worry about it? Why do I need milk and a carrot anyway? Oh yeah, so that I can have coffee in the morning, and finish dinner. And don't tell me that my coffee will be fine black, or dinner will taste just as good without a carrot, because it isn't true and you know it!

My dad is in New York right now, and I want to go hang out with him, because in the last five minutes or so I've entered one of my phases of really, really missing New York. And I miss my dad a lot too, but I always miss my dad, and I only miss New York occasionally.

Maybe if I had a car I wouldn't get so restless, but on the other hand I'd probably still just sit at home, only on top of doing Notalot, I could add on some guilt over the expense of a second car, even one that isn't being driven - especially one that isn't being driven, because in that case what the hell am I insuring it against anyway?

I hope Will comes home soon, he usually knows what to do with me when I am feeling this way, and even if he does the wrong thing, there's a chance that it will piss me off - and I hate to get pissed off at him, especially for things that are not his fault in any way, shape, or form, but at least I'd be feeling different, and I think he'd forgive me.

Restless isn't a good word for how I'm feeling, but I don't think there is one. At least, not in English, and so far that is the only language I have any complex understanding of.

I put Equillibrium back on our Netflix queue, and it will arrive soon, but not until I send back the movies that we haven't even watched yet, because I haven't fetched them from the mailbox, because I'm too lazy to get up out of my chair, even for a nap or a bath or something else that would make me feel better, nevermind to check the mail.

The good news is that the store is open 24 hours, and I can walk there, and it's only 2 blocks away, unlike Ralphs which I won't go to right now because they don't respect the union. So I'll go later.