Oh, woe is me.

I am about half way through my book of crossword puzzles. Did you know that they get harder as you go? NOT FAIR.

Also:

Dear Los Angeles Times,

SUCK MY COCK. I DO NOT WANT YOUR PAPER. I AM ON THE DO NOT FUCKING CALL LIST. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

-not answering the phone ever again

And furthermore:

I want more coffee. Where is my personal barista? WHERE?