Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Timing. (Now with more detail.)

I've been reading the comments at Julie's A Little Pregnant post "One and only" which deals with the pros and cons of having more than one child (particularly if you went through hell to get the first one). The whole thing is worth reading, but that is all you need to know in order to keep up.

I got to thinking about my own experience. I am the older of two children, both girls. We were quite close till we were about 9 and 6 (the year we started school and our parents divorced, not in that order) then grew apart and fought more and more as time went on. Did I mention we also got a step-sister that year? She is my sister's age and they shared a room while I had my own. Sometimes they were an unstoppable duo, sometimes they fought like cats and dogs and one of them would defect to my company. (Incidentally, I have never seen cats and dogs do more than hiss at each other.) My sister moved in with an aunt when I was about 16, then I moved out at 17, and we didn't see much of each other for about five years after that.

I have never wanted to be the parent of an only child. I don't have very good reasons for it - or I should say, concrete reasons; the ones I have might turn out to be good if I would just think them out a bit. I dislike a lot of the only children I am acquainted with, but then, I dislike a lot of the people I know, many of whom have siblings. (That one? Not good.) I couldn't deal with losing a child and not having any others. (Paranoid and creepy.) I love seeing siblings interact (even when they are hitting each other over the head with the telephone, though maybe not quite as much), and don't want to miss out on that. (Better.) Likewise, I wish for my children to have someone that close. Someone who can fill in the details on a dim memory. (Still pretty good.)

My sister wrote in her journal about the sewing she is doing with her new machine. I left a comment jokingly suggesting that I send her the patterns and let her deal with making Froggy's diapers. She said she would love to. This just after I was worrying about how little time four months really is.

I want my baby to have someone who s/he might not always like, but always loves and can always count on to surprise him/her.


I also want lots of little people around for my benefit. I like to see siblings interact with each other, and I also like to see children interact with the world. Plus, if there was only one, s/he'd be sure to get sick of me sometimes, and there wouldn't be anyone else to go play with. (Clarification: I meant for me to go play with.)

It also occurs to me that it isn't fair for one small person to be outnumbered by two big people and therefore we should have at least two (any outnumbering of the adults is our own fault).


Of course, I am largely convinced that four is the perfect number. Because I am insane. (Or maybe because two doesn't sound like enough and three sounds like someone gets left out most of the time. But I think maybe I should have the frogger and then see how I feel.)