Tuesday, February 10, 2004


Let's say that you are getting married in October. It's February now. You've written out a guest list, but have not finalized it.

An old college friend, who you have not been in touch with much, sends you an email. She has to put in her vacation requests, and wants to know if she ought to request the wedding date.

Would you feel that she was effectively saying "Tell me NOW if I am invited," and possibly guilting you into saying "yes" even though you are not prepared to do so yet? Would you perhaps feel inclined to tell her she wasn't invited, even though she probably would have made it to the final list if you weren't feeling pressured?

Or would you think that she was a good friend at one time and is merely asking because she has to, and respond in kind? And would it make any difference if you felt that she had been manipulative in the past?