Oh, you're so funny! (abortion post follow-up)

Remember that post I wrote last week about abortion? You probably do, and if not, that was a link.

Yesterday I received an inappropriate and anonymous comment:

Baby it's cold inside.... said...

How can you be so beautifully excited about that wonderful baby in your womb and in the next breath be outraged that abortion could be outlawed?

No baby deserves to die because he's an inconvenience to his mother.

I responded in the comments:

Um, "Baby"? Did you even read what I wrote? And for that matter, what you wrote? Right wing Christian rhetoric is not very impressive. No one is talking about inconvenience.

But I've been thinking about that word, "inconvenience," and its implications, rhetoric or not. So now I am going to talk about it.

First, I just have to say that as attached as I am and as much as I love my baby, it could not survive on the outside so it does not actually get baby status. That is just a word I use because I expect that my fetus will become my baby. But maybe that is left wing atheist rhetoric.

(That part makes me very uncomfortable, so let's move on.)

Second, while I could probably out-rhetoric anybody (I am damn good with words), I see no point. People with convictions do not change their minds because of clever tricks and wordplay. But I do have a thing or two to say, nonetheless.

Baby, I don't think anyone's ever put you in a corner.

If you had ever been pregnant, you would know that the word "inconvenient" is not appropriate to describe pregnancy. (Oh, there might be some woman out there who'd use it, but I've never met her.)

Pregnancy is a joy for me. In fact, I may be having the easiest pregnancy on record, except for that woman I know (but can't name because she's famous) who didn't even realize she was knocked up until she was four months along which is a month further than I am, can you imagine?

Here are some of the changes ("conveniences"?) pregnancy has brought for me, in simple list form:

• Weight gain. Only five pounds in three months, but that is on top of 20 extra pounds I would have lost by now if not pregnant. I have outgrown almost every single item of clothing that I own.
  
  
• Fatigue. For the first two months I could barely function for more than two hours at a time. Now I am much improved, sleeping about eleven hours a night and napping for one to three hours in the afternoons.
  
  
• Headaches and back pains. These are directly related - my back is stiff and sore which causes my head to hurt. I can't take ibuprofin, the only painkiller that relieves swelling, and acetaminophen does nothing for this type of pain.
  
  
• Shifting center of gravity. The baby only weighs a few ounces right now, but my uterus is expanding and other organs are being moved out of the way to make room. Fat is moving around from my hips to my belly. Soon my belly will poke out and my back will bend more to accommodate it. My pelvis will start to open up to make more room. This will all add to my back pain and weight, which will eventually put strain on my hips, knees, and ankles.
  
  
• Hunger, nausea, and cravings. For the first month or two, nothing sounded good but I was hungry all the time and nauseated when I didn't eat immediately. I was also easily suggestible and if a food was mentioned that sounded good, I had to have it immediately. Now I am interested in a wider variety of foods, and still hungry all the time.
  
  
• Bladder pressure. I have to pee at least once an hour. At night I usually make it through with only one or two wake-ups. These are very uncomfortable since my bladder is over-full, and by the time I make it ten feet to the bathroom I am wide awake and stay that way for as much as several hours.
  
  
• Hormonal mood swings. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I become angry at my sweetheart, the father of my child and love of my life, over absolutely nothing and am not able to be swayed by even the finest logic. I occasionally (maybe once a week) have panic attacks and hyperventilate.

And this is a happy, wanted pregnancy. Some women puke for nine straight months.