things and some stuff

• I am totally addicted to ebay. I have often pondered whether I would become hooked if I started bidding. Apparently so. I've won several diapering items, and there are a few others I've got my eye on. I've bid on a birthing DVD and a wonderful (secret) item for the nursery. So far I have not bought anything I don't need. I can see "need" getting a new definition in the near future...
  
  
• We found the perfect apartment. Well, no - it had the ugliest aqua carpet ever, but it was spacious and bright and airy and wonderful in pretty much every other regard. And the carpet was so kitschy it might work. OK, the cabinets were ugly. And the closet in the spare room was yucky and one of the shower doors was askew. I am grasping here, because it was out of our price range and I might cry. Galley-style walk-through kitchen with a small work area on one side complete with washer/dryer and a dining area on the other side open to the living room. Two balconies. A den area with wet bar, also open to the living room. Two bedrooms down a hallway. Two full baths. Huge walk-in closet in the master bedroom. Another balcony. The building has a pool and jacuzzi (both currently in slight disrepair) and a workout room. Two parking spaces. The neighborhood we dream of living in. Eleven or twelve foot ceilings. *sigh* Can I borrow a few thousand dollars?
  
  
• Ha ha! I said "nursery" two paragraphs ago. That implies that I am actually making preparations of any kind toward that end, and that I expect to have space! Ha ha ha!
  
  
• Not knowing where we are going to be living or where Will is going to be working (assuming that either will change, which please god let both change and soon) is not healthy. I am so tired of worrying.
  
  
• UPDATE: It looks like it is happening. Why do I have so much trouble letting people do things for me? It is still up in the air whether we're having a baby shower. I don't particularly mind either way (though I admit: I love presents) but it needs to get figured out. All that actually requires is my patience until later this afternoon when my friend gets off work and we can talk about it. I don't have much patience. Even tiny insignificant uncertainties are still uncertainties. See above: No more worrying.
  
  
• Mmm, banana.
  
  
• I don't like being such a worrier. It is time-consuming and panic-inducing and I just don't care for it. I wish I knew whether the constant worry is a symptom of our circumstances or a mental defect that is merely being triggered by circumstances. I prefer the former because it will ease up when things change/get better. I hope.
  
  
• Sometimes I kind of wish that somebody else would take charge of my life for awhile.

Thus ends the depressing portion of the afternoon.