Important memo!

If you sent me email yesterday (Wednesday 29 October) to my msn account, I did not get it. Apparently when you go over your account size limit, they stop delivering your mail (including, ironically, the "Your account is too large" email they send automatically). Bastards!

Hee. My account is too large. Tell that to the spammers who want me to make it bigger!

It fucks you in the morning and then it fucks you in the evening.

I refer, of course, to Daylight Savings Time. When it begins every spring, mornings are pure hell. When it ends every autumn, it is a struggle to stay up at night and maintain a normal sleep schedule.

I have a theory: this was never about the farmers. It is all about TORTURE.

Think about it: What is the clever saying to remember which way to turn the clock? "Spring forward, fall back." First of all, it would be more accurate to say, "Spring forward, fall down." Second of all, TORTURE.

If I were a farmer, I'd start working when the sun came up and stop when it set. The clock is irrelevant. Irrelevant.

I am so annoyed. Not to mention ready for bed.

Interesting factoid:

I have never heard anyone who is not a homophobe say that they believe homosexuality to be a choice.

EDIT: If you are illiterate, or Matty, or both, here is an alternate version of the above sentence, just for you. I have only ever heard homophobes say that homosexuality is a choice.

In which I make several updates, observations, and possibly a lousy joke or two.

You've been warned.

I don't even like fantasy!

Clearly, this is a patent falsehood, particularly if Amazon.com is anyone to listen to on the subject. On "The Page You Made," the following films (and television series) are prominently listed: The Princess Bride, Willow, X-Men, X2, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The Indiana Jones trilogy, The Neverending Story...good gravy, it keeps going. Legend, The Goonies, The Matrix Reloaded... It would seem to the untrained eye that I am the World's Biggest Fantasy Fan. Granted, I've seen (and loved) all but one of these, but that is irrelevant.

"There's lots of 'relevants in the circus."

*sigh*

I miss my dad.

The weekend

Though exhausting, it was wonderful. Our room was upgraded to a suite, with a sitting room and sliding double doors and a huuuuuuge bed and it was wonderful. We were very decadent and ordered room service twice.

The wedding itself was just lovely, with the bride crying and the groom unable to repeat the "for better or for worse" part without screwing it up. He was so sweetly nervous. On Sunday morning, we met him briefly to fill out another of the forms (for a copy of the certificate, I think), and he was glowing. I want to get married right this minute.

Well, I suppose I'd like to shower first. And maybe have dinner. So what the hell, I guess I'll wait until next year as planned.

Phoebe is hilarious

"I spend all my time when I'm unable to contact him wishing I were able to contact him, and all my time when I am able to contact him not feeling able to. It's so frustrating being a teenage girl!"

Driving into the apocalypse

On the way to the wedding, we drove from downtown Los Angeles, which was clear and sunny, into Hell. The sky was grey and brown, the sun was a strange ball of orange. We passed two horrible accidents. That night, during the reception, we went out on a balcony. In the distance we could see what appeared to be the fires of Mount Doom. It was completely unreal, and beautiful. The air smelled sweet, like a campfire. It was raining ashes.

They're saying that arson is a possibility. On the other hand, southern California ecosystems have natural fires. It is part of life. I cannot begin to understand why people would build their multi-million dollar homes in areas where these fires are known to occur.

Everything else

The house is still a mess, finances are still sticky (I had to turn down work because of the wedding), I cancelled a trip to Disneyland and am sad because I'll be missing a chance to see Saren and Harper (and their parents), something's wrong with the car, and I am hungry. Time to figure out what's for dinner.

In conclusion,

Alias just keeps getting funnier and more ridiculous. Everwood just keeps getting better. And...that's it for my TV watching lately. We did, however, get a DVD of some X-Files episodes from Netflix. If Will figured correctly, it includes the episode with Luke Wilson. YAY!

I am so tired.

Yesterday we drove to Riverside for a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner for our friends Alan and Kim's wedding. Riverside is a beautiful little historical town, and the Mission Inn, where the wedding will be, is absolutely stunning. Today we will be driving back for the wedding and spending the night. This time I am bringing extra shoes, though my feet may never forgive me for yesterday.

I don't even know what I'm going to wear. Even worse, neither does Will, and he is performing the ceremony, which means he has to find something.

I am so far behind on everything. The house is filthy, I owe people email and letters and phone calls and who knows what else, I still haven't finished reading books I started in June.

Ahhh. I love being able to update before I even post these things. UPDATE: I found something to wear. It's this dress I bought at a Salvation Army a million years ago without even trying it on. Turns out that it fits, and I look extremely attractive in it. And the shirt that Will thought he couldn't wear is actually fine. Phew!

In other news, Will is currently making me a second cup of coffee.

OK. I have to go throw in a load of laundry and pack for the night. I'll be back sometime Sunday, presumably just in time to find out if I am correct in thinking that Sydney put the thing on Vaughn instead of on the other thing. (How's that for a non-spoilery theory based on spoilery stuff? And I know I'm right, because Noah posted the same theory.)

Now I know why the engagement ring is traditionally bought in secret, by the man.

Ugh. How hard can it be to find a ring, right? Men buy rings for women all the time, and the women tend to wear them.

Alas, it appears that all of the engaged women in the known universe either have dreadfully bad taste or men with top-secret connections.

Since I plan to wear this ring forever*, it seems to me that I ought to like it. It also needs to be within our budget (currently five cents and falling). So I've been looking for one myself.

All I want in this world (besides another Peppermint Patty - yum) is a bezel** set diamond with a thin, white gold band. I do not want the diamond to sit very high off my finger, and I'd prefer it to be small and imperfect, like me. Apparently, such a ring does not exist. I'm sure there are jewelers who could make such a ring to my specifications, but they charge for stuff like that, and besides, that would require actually finding a jeweler I like, as opposed to just finding a ring that I like.


*They'll have to pry it off my cold, dead hands. Literally, as I plan to be a fat old lady.
**That's rub over, for the non-Americans.

Hee. Heeeee! Heeheehee.

We just watched Alias. That is the dumbest show ever, and it is really growing on me. I like watching a show that I have no expectations for, because it always exceeds them.

I have a theory, but I can't be bothered to spoiler-tag it at the moment, so nevermind. Anyway, as I said to Will, it is entirely possible that the show isn't even as smart as me, which would mean they never thought of doing [the thing that my theory consists of].

I went to the store.

I would say that my evening is much improved, but it's all relative. While I was buying milk and a carrot (if you must know, I got two carrots), Will was hanging out with Vince Vaughn.

But I don't feel like going to the store!

But I need milk! And a carrot! (No, really.) But on the other hand, I need to do some real grocery shopping (not that I plan to buy fake milk and a fake carrot, but hopefully you know what I mean), and I'll probably do that tomorrow, so why can't I just stay in my chair, wearing my dirty clothes that I've been wearing since yesterday and were probably already dirty when I put them on then, and stare at my computer some more, wishing that I hadn't read all of Margaret Cho's blog in one go, and just not worry about it? Why do I need milk and a carrot anyway? Oh yeah, so that I can have coffee in the morning, and finish dinner. And don't tell me that my coffee will be fine black, or dinner will taste just as good without a carrot, because it isn't true and you know it!

My dad is in New York right now, and I want to go hang out with him, because in the last five minutes or so I've entered one of my phases of really, really missing New York. And I miss my dad a lot too, but I always miss my dad, and I only miss New York occasionally.

Maybe if I had a car I wouldn't get so restless, but on the other hand I'd probably still just sit at home, only on top of doing Notalot, I could add on some guilt over the expense of a second car, even one that isn't being driven - especially one that isn't being driven, because in that case what the hell am I insuring it against anyway?

I hope Will comes home soon, he usually knows what to do with me when I am feeling this way, and even if he does the wrong thing, there's a chance that it will piss me off - and I hate to get pissed off at him, especially for things that are not his fault in any way, shape, or form, but at least I'd be feeling different, and I think he'd forgive me.

Restless isn't a good word for how I'm feeling, but I don't think there is one. At least, not in English, and so far that is the only language I have any complex understanding of.

I put Equillibrium back on our Netflix queue, and it will arrive soon, but not until I send back the movies that we haven't even watched yet, because I haven't fetched them from the mailbox, because I'm too lazy to get up out of my chair, even for a nap or a bath or something else that would make me feel better, nevermind to check the mail.

The good news is that the store is open 24 hours, and I can walk there, and it's only 2 blocks away, unlike Ralphs which I won't go to right now because they don't respect the union. So I'll go later.

CHUD - Cinematic Happenings Under Development

CHUD is having a contest in which they are giving out passes to Alien (coming soon to a theater near you). Unfortunately, I don't live in one of the cities they have passes for, so I thought I'd just answer them here, and buy my own ticket.

Ton [sic] win a chance at a pass, use the correct link below, include your mailing address, and tell me what you would do with Alien 5 if given the keys to the kingdom.

1. No Ripley. Look, I love Sigourney Weaver, even though my sweetheart really, really, really wants to have sex with her, but Ripley's story is really, really, really over.
2. I'd like to see the story of someone else - say, Jonesy. That's right, the cat. Oh, he's dead? I suppose a few flashbacks would be acceptable.
3. The existing formula is basically that scientists are bad, because they want to experiment on the aliens rather than destroy them. Maybe it would work out better for the franchise if, rather than continuing that formula, we had a story from the scientists' point of view. Maybe there is some actual gain to be had from studying these creatures - I don't know, a cure for cancer or something. Or is that too X-Files?
4. I loved Alien Cubed, but it started off really crappily; let's bring back Michael Biehn, OK?

In other news, either I've got Spyware on my machine or imdb has been hacked. I was going to double-check the cat's name, but now I can't be bothered.

Car alarms: Pure evil.

There is a lot of street parking in my neighborhood. We live in a building with underground assigned parking for its residents, but many of the nearby buildings have either no parking provided or limited parking, which means that only some residents have an assigned parking space. Hence, street parking.

A very large portion of the cars (both on the street and in my very own building's garage) are equipped with anti-theft devices of the LOUD OBNOXIOUS ALARM variety. I have gotten quite accustomed to these alarms going off at inconvenient times (e.g., when I am asleep).

Last night we went to bed around midnight. Several times throughout the night, the same car alarm went off. It seems to be triggered every time another vehicle drives past it. The second-to-last time that it went off was at approximately 7:00, promting Will and I to notice our alarm clock. Normally I stay in bed until between 8:00 and 8:30, but the noise was too jolting for me to even attempt to fall back to sleep. The last time it went off I actually got out of bed, where I'd been pouting, and looked out the window to determine what vehicle the offensive noise was coming from. (I would have looked sooner, but the car's owner must have a window overlooking his parking space, because he'd turned the alarm off each time it sounded.)

I went downstairs and wrote down the make, model, and license plate number. I came back upstairs, wrote a (reasonably friendly) note, and went back down to put it on the windshield. The stairs have windows facing the street at each landing, and I saw a man standing near the car; there was another man on the stairs ahead of me. As the man ahead of me exited the building, I saw the man on the sidewalk get into the car. As soon as the other man reached the sidewalk, the car owner drove off. I suspect that he'd seen me write down his info and knew that he was not very popular.

I considered calling the local police and asking if they could do anything, but decided to be practical (I would hate to waste an officer's time) and look up the noise ordinance laws in LA first.

SEC. 114.06. VEHICLE THEFT ALARM SYSTEMS.
(Former Sec. 114.05, Renumbered by Ord. No. 164,532, Eff. 4/20/89.)

It shall be unlawful for any person to install, operate or use any vehicle theft alarm system that emits or causes the emission of an audible sound, which is not, or does not become, automatically and completely silenced within five minutes. The time period shall be calculated based upon the emission of the first audible sound and shall end five minutes thereafter notwithstanding any variation or stoppage in the emissions of audible sound. Violation of this section shall constitute an infraction.

My interpretation of this is that, because the asshat turned off his alarm each time it sounded (within five minutes), there is NOTHING I can do. This makes me furious. I am still reading the document, to see if there is an exception for repeated noises, but it isn't looking good.

All I can think of as a course of action is to hunt down the car tonight and leave a (slightly less polite) note. Which will, I imagine, accomplish absolutely nothing.

Damn it.

Happy Marriage Protection Week!

I love our current government. Email congress, if you're so inclined. While I dislike the site's blanket statements about conservatives, it can't be denied that the proponants of this absurd constitutional amendment are all conservatives.

I may be crazy, but so are all of my friends.

Let's just call this a shout-out to my new posse of insane novel writers: Lauren, Stephanie, Beth, Jess, Danielle, other Annika, Pat, Katherine and Jenny Lane. If I am missing anyone, please let me know. We can all be crazy together!

Honorary shout-outs go to Crystal and Heath, who are finishing screenplays instead of writing novels.

I have lost my mind.

I know, I know, I was already crazy. I'll explain in a moment.

First I would like to state that last night's episode of Angel was possibly the worst hour of television that I have ever sat through.

Anyway, the reason for my claims of insanity. A few weeks ago, Lauren posted a link to National Novel Writing Month, the objective of which is to write a 50,000 word novel in just 30 days - in November, to be specific. I checked it out, and thought to myself, What a neat idea. But I kept thinking about it. See, the problem with me is that I'm a writer who doesn't write. I had this long conversation with Dustin last month about writing, and he said some things that really rang true for me - but I haven't done anything with them. One thing he said is that if you're not writing, you don't have writer's block - you're just not writing.

So I signed up. There's no penalty for not finishing, and no prize if you do - it's just a matter of trying. Something about the concept of quantity over quality appeals to me, in a masochistic sort of way. I have no idea what my novel will be about, though I have some brilliant ideas for filler and a vague idea for a main character.

November is bound to be interesting.

I got email from the White House!

Thank you for e-mailing President Bush. Your ideas and comments are very
important to him.

Coming from Autoresponder@WhiteHouse.GOV, I doubt that.

I am such a good little girl.

This morning (OK, around noon) I did my civic duty and voted in the California recall election. Whee! That was fun. I am now wearing a sticker that has an American flag and the words "I Voted" on it. Whee! That's fashion for you.

Then I went to the bank and cashed my paycheck. Whee! That was fun.

Then I got a Boba and some coffee cake. Then I agreed to drive our friend Geoff to the airport tomorrow night, and somehow managed to arrange it so that I won't miss Angel. Can I say it again? Whee!

In conclusion, I think I've earned a nap.

A letter to all directors, producers, writers and anyone else recording commentary for DVDs

Dear Sir or Madam,

Although there are Crazy People out there who don't enjoy commentary tracks, I am certain that they are recorded in the first place for the benefit of those of us who are, not to put too fine a point on it, totally addicted to them. Before I get into the bulk of this letter, I would like to thank you for taking the time to make us squeal with delight.

Now, a few suggestions.

One. Please be aware that, with rare exception, we have seen the movie or television show before watching it with commentary. Probably more than once.

Two. We are aware of who the actors are, or, if we are not, we are capable of watching the credits. If you feel inclined to tell us about the actors or characters, please include information that is not in the credits or the episode/movie.

Three. We have eyes. We can see what's happening on our television screen. A play-by-play is not required. We'd love to know how you set up a shot or why you did something the way you did, as long as it isn't mind-numbingly boring. Keep in mind that we're the audience, not your colleague.

Four. We are fans. That means that, in addition to the points above, we want dirt. This doesn't necessarily mean that we want to know who played the Diva on any given day, but that we'd like some sort of behind-the-scenes insight. As the commentator, it is up to you to determine what form this will take. Just make it interesting, OK?

Five. This one may sound personal, but please do not take offense. If your voice has a monotone, flat, or remarkably nasal sound to it, please see a vocal coach before recording a commentary track. We like our ears, most of us.

Thank you.

"You wouldn't like me when I'm happy."

Last night our friend Geoff took us out for dinner to celebrate our engagement. (Aside: more people should do this. We love food.) We went to a fantastic little Italian restaurant in Los Feliz, where we ate so much (not to mention all the wine) that it's a miracle we were able to move afterward. In addition to buying us dinner, he gave us an engagement gift (please see above) of the season 2 Angel DVDs.

YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning I woke up and made breakfast. Potatoes, scrambled eggs, sausage, and pancakes. Will made capuccino. It was all sooooo good. After we ate, we watched the featurettes and Are You Now or Have You Ever Been with commentary, and then just started the episodes as background. Perfect Saturday.

In other news, I found out where to vote, now I just have to decide how to vote. Stupid recall.

That reminds me - I've been trying to figure out how to categorize my political leanings. Not that I particularly want to put myself in a box, but I am just so tired of being called this (liberal), that (Democrat) and the other thing (I don't know) with no basis. I think later I will post all of my beliefs that I think are relevant and let you all tell me.

October is my favorite month.

Starting on 30 September, Will reads me one chapter a night of A Night in the Lonesome October, which is the greatest book on earth. This is a yearly tradition.

This year I will be attending two weddings, and next year (most likely) having my own.

Plus - Halloween!!! I have no idea what to dress as this year. Suggestions are welcome, but I warn you - we are piss-poor, and not in the "Joss Whedon's directorial abilities" sort of way.

*snicker*

[frown]

One of my favorite bloggers, Steph, is going through another rough period. I'm mentioning it because I know many of us have been through similar experiences - she's stuck living with her parents after living away from home for some time, she is separated from her sweetheart, Andy (who she lived with until recently), she lost her job, and frankly she just sounds depressed. I've been through all of those things separately - I can't even begin to imagine the stress of dealing with all of them at once! So send her an email or your good mojo for things to get better, won't you?

I have been instructed to update.

Damn you, Stephanie! And damn me for doing it to you first! I really don't have anything to say.

The WD is driving me batty. Well, not the WD itself, but a few select posters who are doing their best to ruin it for the rest of the class. And, surprisingly, not the normal ones. Lately (read: yesterday and yesterday only) I've found myself agreeing with a great deal of what youknowwho and YouKnowWho2 have been saying. Also, it looks like Throaty might be back. Wheeeeee!

Oh! Very big news. Today I took my sweatpants off. Then I showered. Then I put them back on. I expect Will to stop touching me any day now.

I forgot to mention the other day that we watched the premier of Alias, which we've both been thoroughly unimpressed by in the past, and rather enjoyed it. I doubt that we'll be tuning in religiously, but at least I sort of get it now. Phew! I was really worried.

In conclusion, I have to pee. Bye!